Commentary on Coaching Culture

Our culture has pushed the idea that kids should play sports no matter how poorly coaches perform or how poorly they treat their players.

This is nonsense.

We should absolutely be teaching kids to strive through adversity. We should absolutely teach them that there are hardships in life and you cannot simply quit.

However, the idea of enduring any and all things in a sport is not only kind of silly, but dangerous.

To insist that a child has to stick it out through anything and everything while apart of a sports team, is to also insist that the coach is always right, or has a bigger plan, or that he “knows better than you” so you just have to trust him.

Again, nonsense.

Coaches, and this may be a shocker, are mere humans. In fact, they are the same amount of human as each and every athlete that comes under their leadership.

So, when we tell children that their coach always knows what he’s doing, we are potentially sending the message that this person is perfect. Which is never true.

Often, coaches are wrong. They make mistakes, bad decisions, and justify actions and choices with faulty logic. Why? They are human. They are sinners, just like you and I, and we all need the saving grace that comes only through Jesus Christ.

I am sharing this not because I want to bash coaches, but because I want to share my concerns about the negative impact this mentality has had on so many of us.

I can speak first hand for my generation (that’s Gen-Z) and I can tell you that there are lots of people my age who have an unhealthy fear of people above them. Afraid to mess up. Terrified to disappoint. Incredibly worried about what might happen if they don’t do what their mom/dad/boss/friend/colleague/coach expects of them. This is not healthy. Nor is it fruitful.

So what happens as a result? Some accept it, and live their lives shaking in their boots all the time, trying their very best to please anyone and everyone.

Some reject it. They hate any kind of authority. They’re rude, disrespectful, and arrogant, and generally opposed to others.

So what happened to these people? A lying and deceitful fear crept in and seized power.

Both of these responses are versions of submission. Either way, the fear took control of their lives, the control just looks different for each.

Let’s not forget, this has also impacted coaches.

This isn’t a universal statement, but this lie has deleted the concept of accountability for many coaches.

Its given way to the growth of a false ego. This keeps coaches stagnant. They never improve.

This is such a disservice to coaches.

It’s also created separation between coaches and players. Often, players don’t know how to express concerns or healthy disagreement to their coaches because that’s not what’s been taught.

So what happens?

Coaches don’t improve. They aren’t humble. They can’t build true relationships with their players.

Under the guise of a pretend superiority, coaches remain unable to truly connect and improve because they aren’t able to be constructively criticized.

A leader who leads well, with confidence and sureness, but is also willing to be transparent, and open to communication, is an effective leader.

Now I know I’m new to this, and I’m admittedly not perfect at it, but when my wife expresses something that she believes I can do to love her better, I’m all ears.

Why? Because that is part of my life’s mission. If I can’t listen to my wife, how could we ever be successful as a unit?

If coaches can’t listen to their players, how could they be successful as a team?

If coaches can’t be steered in a better direction, how could they ever become a better coach?

Again, I am not promoting disrespect. I am merely suggesting that we create environments that improve the effectiveness of teams, and I believe this starts with a proper understanding of humility, respect for others, and awareness of where the line is drawn between adversity and ridiculous treatment.

Perhaps in another post, I will examine some tangible solutions to the problems I’ve noted, but for now, I think it simply looks like this:

“Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” (James 1:19)

A willingness to listen. A willingness to be humble, deny ourselves the pleasure of anger, and commit to improvement.

I am also not suggesting that I am an expert. I am open to disagreement, correction, debate, etc. So, please express any thoughts you might have on this, we may be able to learn something!

Also, please ask me about Jesus. This particular post isn’t biblically focused, but I am always willing to talk about who Jesus is, what He’s done, what the Bible says, why it’s relevant, why it’s true, why it’s good, etc.

Blessings to all.